Beautifully Broken
Rooted Resilience Counseling was born out of my very own broken yet real, beautifully gritty story. And because you most likely have a broken yet beautiful story as well, I am glad you are here. I know what it is like to want to turn away from our brokenness in fear or shame. I also know what it is like to experience anxiety and pressure, both internally and externally, that lunges us towards chasing after our own brokenness in a frantic attempt to fix it – the mirage that is perfection. Yet the hiding and striving left me both exhausted and disconnected from myself. I wonder if you have, or are, experiencing this same exhaustion and disconnection? If so, you are so not alone.
Many clients believe that by coming to counseling, the brokenness that they see and hate in themselves will be eradicated. We run towards our beautifully written story with a giant eraser, ready to edit with every statement. If only I can wipe this brokenness slate clean, then I can have a fresh start with the beautiful. But what I know is true, is that beautiful is only seen in the reflection of what is broken. You, dear one, are not a problem to be fixed, nor an accident that needs to be cleaned up. Your story, every single ounce of it, is worthy of being seen and heard. If your story was not worthy of such a thing, it would not currently be in the process of being written this very moment. This is the truth I would like you to awaken to, that purpose and joy is not found despite your story, but because of it.
Experiencing this truth for the first time was a beginning step of great healing for me. When you begin to look at pain and regret with compassion, you reconnect with yourself. The ripple moves into how you receive other’s stories, leaving you more connected with others as well. And where there is true intimacy, true healing is never far behind. Ironically, the very moment we stop trying to change our stories is the very moment new direction and fresh life start to emerge. There is freedom in your brokenness. Will you allow yourself to break?
I am human. I have not “arrived.” This concept of seeing the beauty in brokenness is at times so sharply believable and tangible, that courage, confidence and peace flow effortlessly. But just like the changing ocean tides, there are other times when the concept is fuzzy at best. Encouragement is found in the very fact that without the fuzzy days, I would not be given the opportunity to slow down and reconnect to myself – that inner voice of truth that says, “Remember me. Wisdom lives here.” And in that sweet reunion, stronger rooting of what is true about myself and others – that we are inexpressibly lovable despite the messes we find ourselves in, can begin to take place.
I find myself in awe quite often when leaving my office at the end of the day, knowing the great privilege I have been given in being a hearer of stories. My clients believe they are handing me only broken, not knowing I get the honor of walking away with beautiful on the other end. So thank you, for reminding me that I am not alone in my own brokenness, and also for showing me over and over again, that in the sacred space where broken meets broken, beauty can and does emerge.
